From broken to whole: How South African dads are healing | A Father’s Day message: Invite a man for a cup of tea, it could change his life.

By Taking Care of Business

This Father’s Day, Taking Care of Business (TCB) is flipping the script on what men need most to restore their dignity in South African homes. Beyond job opportunities, training and role models, they need safe spaces to heal. That’s the message from Alan Warden and George Snoek, two of TCB’s Repair programme Enterprise Development Managers who have been working with unemployed men for almost a decade.

A programme that helps fathers step up

TCB is a unique enterprise development non-profit that helps South Africans become self-employed through small business opportunities. In their Repair programme, unemployed individuals (mostly fathers) are taught to how to buy, repair and sell appliances to become self-employed. The two-year programme also covers life skills, computer skills, business and financial skills, along with intensive personal mentoring and development.

Alan and George have seen that coaching, mentoring, and counselling are a vital aspect of the training, as many men have themselves been failed by absent fathers and have not been taught how to be responsible men. They believe that the TCB Repair programme is building more than just appliance repair businesses – it’s rebuilding men. “A wealth of business experience means nothing when you lack life skills,” says Alan. “You need to be a whole, healed person to run a successful business. Repair focuses on men’s wellbeing, learning and training. There are very few spaces where men are invited to feel, to cry, and to break cycles,” he says.

Men need to heal, too

“I would love all men to understand how healing empowers you,” explains Alan, from Cape Town. “I believe in the power of tea. We see women gathering over a cup of tea, pouring out their hearts to one another. It is healing. Why don’t we see men doing the same? I believe it’s time to brew a new kind of brotherhood. We need to break the vicious cycle of abuse and poverty. We need to become better fathers. And that starts with sharing and being open to heal.”

Men need to find their role in the family

In Johannesburg, George works with men who have lost their way — not by choice, but by circumstance.

“How do you provide security, shelter and food for your family when you’re unemployed, uneducated, lack opportunities and have no role model to show you how? It affects the male psyche,” he explains. “It’s no wonder men turn aggressive — not because they’re bad, but because they’re broken.” George, now 69, shares openly with his group about his own past, including a suicide attempt. “If an old white guy like me can stand up in a room of young African men and be real, it gives them permission to open up too.”

Stepping up as role models

“One of the privileges of this job is to see the shift in men as they go through the programme,” says George. “I see it in their body language. I see it in the way they dress. I can see their self-esteem increasing over a few months. Once they start fixing and trading and begin to put food on the table, it's as if a load has been lifted off their shoulders. It's a blessing to be able to be part of this,” he says.

The stories from men in TCB’s Repair programme are amazing. “Men become entrepreneurs, starting other businesses. They speak about forgiving their fathers, who were absent. One man, whose son is in jail, apologised to his son for not being a good father. This is why I advocate for men pouring a cup of tea together to start the healing process together,” says Alan.

The TCB impact

TCB’s Repair programme offers dignity and purpose, not just income-generating opportunities. “We find that once men start earning money again, they’re allowed back into their families,” says Alan. “Earning brings access. Purpose brings healing.”

This Father’s Day: brew a new kind of brotherhood

This Father’s Day, TCB salutes all the fathers who are present for their children and taking responsibility for their families. TCB is calling on South Africans to reach out to the men in their lives. “Invite a father, uncle, or brother for tea,” says Alan. “Let him know it’s okay to talk. To cry. To change.”

www.tcb.org.za